A dip in libido is possible too when you’re not having sex. This has to do with what happens to your brain when you’re having sex — it releases feel-good chemicals that you’ll want more of. Abstinence might have the opposite effect. While for some, this might mean a few attempts at boosting things — sex drive-wise — for others, it might be as simple as getting back on the bicycle when you start having sex again. 

Psychological consequences of abstaining from sex, like wondering if lubrication will be an issue, thinking things will hurt, awkwardness, and even trauma attached to your last sexual encounter can all play a part too when it comes to how pleasurable (or not) your current sexual experience is going to be. While open communication, some laughter and light-heartedness, and trial and error can help when it comes to some things, other instances, like resuming sex after abuse or rape, might require therapy and professional support. 

Vaginismus, an involuntary bodily reaction where your vagina contracts at the thought of penetration, is one example. Treatment involves a combination of mental health and physical exercise to help ease your fear of penetrative sex. Vaginismus can be unrelated to sexual trauma as well. “I recommend seeing a gynecologist to get a diagnosis and a recommendation for a pelvic-floor physical therapist,” shared sex therapist Holly Richmond (via Women’s Health).